Contact Info / Websites

Jack's News

I bought a new poster...

2009-10-20 14:12:44 by Jack

...a original 1980 Dawn of the Dead UK quad.

I placed a NG sticker in the bottom, right-hand corner to give you an idea of the size.

I bought a new poster...


2009-10-17 12:18:48 by Jack

I'd like to talk about Stan Helsing, a new 'comedy' which will be shitting on your local cinema in the not too distant future! Check out the trailer here.

Let's break down this trailer.


Some terrible CGI models, but to be fair this is probably an independent film or something.


OMFG Lulz, he gut waterz sprayed at him!!! Not looking like a comedy classic so far but we'll continue.


Hey guys, it's Leslie Nelson dressed as a women! Isn't that wacky, crazy and totally hilarious? No it's actually depressing.


Reading out porn titles is pretty funny and original, huh? DON'T BE FUCKING STUPID - The film Clerks did that same joke back in 1994. In fact it's the exact same joke, guy in a video store, reading out porn titles on the phone. Well done for stealing!


Fat black guy wearing a superman costume. Yeah.


Lolz a sexism.


Guy - "This whole town is dead!"

Girl - "Maybe this is The Sixth Sense or something, maybe we're the one's really dead!"

- Cuts to another girl rolling her eyes -

Wait a minute, what the fuck is the joke? Is there a joke? The girl rolling her eyes is probably taken from another scene, so they probably added that it to give the audience time to laugh. BUT THERE ISN'T A FUCKING JOKE TO LAUGH AT.

1:39 - 2:11

Various shit.


STAN HELSING, red font on white background. It really should be called, Slasher Flick or Horror Movie, don't try and foll us.


Hazzah, a genital related joke!

Verdict: Pay to go see this film and you're fucking cinema in the ass.

Braindead a.k.a. Dead Alive..

2009-09-12 14:38:49 by Jack still the greatest zombie film ever.

Braindead a.k.a. Dead Alive..

I found burglar porn..

2009-09-08 19:49:10 by Jack


I found burglar porn..

Wot? Not In A Pot Noodle

2009-08-19 11:01:37 by Jack

I like them better than normal Pot Noodles.

Wot? Not In A Pot Noodle

I found my DVD remote!

2009-07-21 08:28:42 by Jack

I found it under a pile of clothes.

Thank you for all your support.

...where is my FUCKING dvd remote!?

I have a stack of dvds and I want to watch the special features but I NEED MY DVD REMOTE TO DO THIS.


Alien Vs Predator 3

2009-06-07 12:43:24 by Jack

It looks so sexy.

/* */

Chris Cunningham is insane.

2009-05-16 09:25:08 by Jack

He should make more music videos.

/* */

Favorite rice?

2009-04-05 07:26:46 by Jack

I like egg-fried rice the most.