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I bought a new poster...

2009-10-20 14:12:44 by Jack

...a original 1980 Dawn of the Dead UK quad.

I placed a NG sticker in the bottom, right-hand corner to give you an idea of the size.

I bought a new poster...


STAN HELSING!

2009-10-17 12:18:48 by Jack
Updated

I'd like to talk about Stan Helsing, a new 'comedy' which will be shitting on your local cinema in the not too distant future! Check out the trailer here.

Let's break down this trailer.

0:09

Some terrible CGI models, but to be fair this is probably an independent film or something.

0:23

OMFG Lulz, he gut waterz sprayed at him!!! Not looking like a comedy classic so far but we'll continue.

0:35

Hey guys, it's Leslie Nelson dressed as a women! Isn't that wacky, crazy and totally hilarious? No it's actually depressing.

0:41

Reading out porn titles is pretty funny and original, huh? DON'T BE FUCKING STUPID - The film Clerks did that same joke back in 1994. In fact it's the exact same joke, guy in a video store, reading out porn titles on the phone. Well done for stealing!

1:00

Fat black guy wearing a superman costume. Yeah.

1:29

Lolz a sexism.

1:31

Guy - "This whole town is dead!"

Girl - "Maybe this is The Sixth Sense or something, maybe we're the one's really dead!"

- Cuts to another girl rolling her eyes -

Wait a minute, what the fuck is the joke? Is there a joke? The girl rolling her eyes is probably taken from another scene, so they probably added that it to give the audience time to laugh. BUT THERE ISN'T A FUCKING JOKE TO LAUGH AT.

1:39 - 2:11

Various shit.

2:12

STAN HELSING, red font on white background. It really should be called, Slasher Flick or Horror Movie, don't try and foll us.

2:14

Hazzah, a genital related joke!

Verdict: Pay to go see this film and you're fucking cinema in the ass.


Braindead a.k.a. Dead Alive..

2009-09-12 14:38:49 by Jack

..is still the greatest zombie film ever.

Braindead a.k.a. Dead Alive..


I found burglar porn..

2009-09-08 19:49:10 by Jack

...

I found burglar porn..


Wot? Not In A Pot Noodle

2009-08-19 11:01:37 by Jack
Updated

I like them better than normal Pot Noodles.

Wot? Not In A Pot Noodle


I found my DVD remote!

2009-07-21 08:28:42 by Jack

I found it under a pile of clothes.

Thank you for all your support.



...where is my FUCKING dvd remote!?

I have a stack of dvds and I want to watch the special features but I NEED MY DVD REMOTE TO DO THIS.

>:-(


Alien Vs Predator 3

2009-06-07 12:43:24 by Jack
Updated

It looks so sexy.

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Chris Cunningham is insane.

2009-05-16 09:25:08 by Jack
Updated

He should make more music videos.

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Favorite rice?

2009-04-05 07:26:46 by Jack

I like egg-fried rice the most.