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Jack

Age/Gender: 19, Male
Location: South East, England
Job: Gentleman

Here we go.

Contact Info

Newgrounds Stats

Sign-Up Date:
4/13/04

Level: 19
Aura: Light

Rank: Police Sergeant
Blams: 370
Saves: 632
Rank #: 7,621

Whistle Status: Normal

Exp. Points: 3,810 / 4,010
Exp. Rank #: 6,259
Voting Pow.: 6.09 votes

BBS Posts: 3,724 (1.79 per day)
Flash Reviews: 92
Music Reviews: 0
Trophies: 0
Stickers: 0

Jack's News

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Jack

Its Goddamn Kim BITCH!

Posted by Jack Dec. 4, 2009 @ 3:51 PM EST

>:-0

1.jpg

Updated: 12/04/09 3:52 PM 1 comment | Log in to comment! | Share this!
Jack

I bought a new poster...

Posted by Jack Oct. 20, 2009 @ 2:12 PM EDT

...a original 1980 Dawn of the Dead UK quad.

I placed a NG sticker in the bottom, right-hand corner to give you an idea of the size.

DSC00952.JPG

2 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!
Jack

STAN HELSING!

Posted by Jack Oct. 17, 2009 @ 12:18 PM EDT

I'd like to talk about Stan Helsing, a new 'comedy' which will be shitting on your local cinema in the not too distant future! Check out the trailer here.

Let's break down this trailer.

0:09

Some terrible CGI models, but to be fair this is probably an independent film or something.

0:23

OMFG Lulz, he gut waterz sprayed at him!!! Not looking like a comedy classic so far but we'll continue.

0:35

Hey guys, it's Leslie Nelson dressed as a women! Isn't that wacky, crazy and totally hilarious? No it's actually depressing.

0:41

Reading out porn titles is pretty funny and original, huh? DON'T BE FUCKING STUPID - The film Clerks did that same joke back in 1994. In fact it's the exact same joke, guy in a video store, reading out porn titles on the phone. Well done for stealing!

1:00

Fat black guy wearing a superman costume. Yeah.

1:29

Lolz a sexism.

1:31

Guy - "This whole town is dead!"

Girl - "Maybe this is The Sixth Sense or something, maybe we're the one's really dead!"

- Cuts to another girl rolling her eyes -

Wait a minute, what the fuck is the joke? Is there a joke? The girl rolling her eyes is probably taken from another scene, so they probably added that it to give the audience time to laugh. BUT THERE ISN'T A FUCKING JOKE TO LAUGH AT.

1:39 - 2:11

Various shit.

2:12

STAN HELSING, red font on white background. It really should be called, Slasher Flick or Horror Movie, don't try and foll us.

2:14

Hazzah, a genital related joke!

Verdict: Pay to go see this film and you're fucking cinema in the ass.

Updated: 10/17/09 12:27 PM 1 comment | Log in to comment! | Share this!
Jack

Braindead a.k.a. Dead Alive..

Posted by Jack Sep. 12, 2009 @ 2:38 PM EDT

..is still the greatest zombie film ever.

Dead_Alive_aka_Braindead_1.jpg

3 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!
Jack

I found burglar porn..

Posted by Jack Sep. 8, 2009 @ 7:49 PM EDT

...

wot.jpg

2 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!
Jack

Wot? Not In A Pot Noodle

Posted by Jack Aug. 19, 2009 @ 11:01 AM EDT

I like them better than normal Pot Noodles.

unileverWotNotInAPotNoodle.jpg

Updated: 08/19/09 11:02 AM 3 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!
Jack

I found my DVD remote!

Posted by Jack Jul. 21, 2009 @ 8:28 AM EDT

I found it under a pile of clothes.

Thank you for all your support.

0 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!
Jack

Newgrounds, please answer me this...

Posted by Jack Jun. 11, 2009 @ 4:39 PM EDT

...where is my FUCKING dvd remote!?

I have a stack of dvds and I want to watch the special features but I NEED MY DVD REMOTE TO DO THIS.

>:-(

5 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!
Jack

Alien Vs Predator 3

Posted by Jack Jun. 7, 2009 @ 12:43 PM EDT

It looks so sexy.

.

Updated: 06/07/09 12:44 PM 1 comment | Log in to comment! | Share this!
Jack

Chris Cunningham is insane.

Posted by Jack May. 16, 2009 @ 9:25 AM EDT

He should make more music videos.

.

Updated: 05/16/09 9:29 AM 2 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!
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